Special Ontario Edition

Went back to Ontario for the holidays. Back to a place where houses are actually made out of brick. A place where people actually like to drink and socialize at bars. A place where I realized for better or for worse how much I’ve actually changed since leaving there. I don’t mean that as some sort of deep foreshadowing for an epiphany I’m going to drop later in the entry, but seriously, all my friends can generally drink harder, party bigger and deal with the cold better than I can now. Unfortunately I’m becoming a bit of a delicate dandy. More about that later.

First, getting out to Ontario was an ordeal itself. I got to the airport at 8 for a flight that was supposed to depart at 9:30. Once I got to the airport it had already been delayed a second time, to 11:30. This was all due to a snowstorm coming towards Vancouver combined with a big chunk of snow that had already fallen.

Vancouver is the most ill equipped city to handle snow. Once there’s an inch of snow on the ground a city known for it’s civility quickly deteriorates into a post apocalyptic hell hole like something out of “Mad Max beyond thunderdome”. People abandon their cars on the highway, buses slide so much they end up forming a barricade across the entire street and you see some of the weirdest accidents you have ever seen. I saw all three of these things on the way to and from the airport. Oh yeah and the concepts of plows and salt are completely foreign to the city so the snow stays on the streets forever.

Back to waiting at the airport: Thankfully I was getting on the same flight as some friends from work so we all waited out the delay in an airport bar drinking. Unfortunately the plane got delayed again to 1 am and the bar had closed. So we went to another bar and kept drinking. Long story short, after that bar closed we waited until 3:30 to board the plane. Once we boarded the plane we sat in it for 4 to 5 hours before it actually departed. Thankfully the combination of beer and sleeping pills knocked me out pretty good, but when I woke up there were clearly some disgruntled passengers, one guy behind me said to the flight attendant “Okay seriously, I’ll just jump out of the entrance, I don’t mind, I just need to get off this flight.” Another woman was just screaming anything she could think of, including “Let me out!”, “This is bullshit!”, “Why won’t the pilots say anything to us? What are they hiding!” and my personal favorite, when all the others failed “I’m a fucking diabetic!” Still not sure how she thought the last one would help the situation.

We landed in Toronto around 5 pm. Roughly 12 hours later than we were supposed to land. However it turns out we were the last plane let out of Vancouver as the impending snowstorm grounded all the flights until boxing day.

My mom had no idea I was going to be home for Christmas eve dinner so it was great surprising her and enjoying the amazing Christmas dinner with her side of the family. The vinaigrette, wild mushrooms and all the other Lithuanian delicacies were top notch. Hung out with my mom, bro and fam then went over to Jeff's to have a beer with some of the dudes. All in all a wicked first day back.

Christmas day, once again was great. Had Christmas morning at my moms then went to see my dad in the afternoon which was great, then finally ended up at Christy’s parents place for dinner. Two things quickly dawned on me that first day:

1. I can’t eat like I used to. Seriously I only had one plate at each meal I had, no seconds. What happened to me?
2. I can’t drink like I used to. 3 beers now and I’m buzzed, 6 beers and I’m starting to have to concentrate on walking. R.I.P. party animal Simon.

After all the food, drink, family and friends, I went down to Che to meet the dudes for our traditional Christmas night drinking party. I’m pretty sure it was a good time, I just wish I could remember it.

Between Christmas and new years, with the exception of the Bruyn Christmas, the holidays followed a pretty consistent pattern of drinking, being hung over then visiting people I hadn’t seen in a while.

Realization #3:
I used to think I was a pretty big guy. Then I went to the Bruyn Christmas party and realized I was the smallest guy under the age of 50. Seriously look at me in this picture! When did I become a hobbit? It’s amazing how diluted you get hanging out all the time with people shorter than you.

Realization #4:
The cold still stinks. People always complain about the rain out in BC but in the rain you can still do stuff. In the cold, especially when there’s snow on the ground you really can’t do anything nor do you even want to. It stinks.

Flash forward to the day before New Years eve. Going out for dinner near my bro’s new place in Toronto and meeting up with a host of old friends afterwards. Crashed at the apartment I used to live in that Harold, Mike and Ryan now live in. Calling it an apartment is a compliment, it’s more like a mishmash of filthy rooms. Crack heads would be embarrassed to sleep here.

New Years Eve. Matt pacing around nervously at his house until around 10:45. The early signs on the potential of his party weren’t good. A clogged toilet and a room full of dudes with no girls in sight. Unfortunately the first girl to show up was Matt’s girlfriend, this kicked Matt’s nervousness into high gear; He didn’t want her thinking he was a huge nerd who thought of 6 dudes playing rock band as a wicked new years party.

Thankfully a call from my bro came and the news that his whole party would be joining ours. New Years was saved! Old friends, excessive drinking, drunken tomfoolery, kitchen dance parties. It was an awesome new years.

Long story short, the holidays were awesome. Got some good time with family and friends. Though it never feels really like enough, given the circumstances I think I did okay. Hamilton will always be Hamilton and Toronto is always a wicked spot to party. Seriously Vancouver has nothing on Toronto from a partying perspective.

Next time I visit though I just hope it’s not so stupidly cold.